When I first started this blog in 2015, it was called “tmartinhasablog.wordpress.com” (and a couple of previous blogs wouldn’t have been deleted had I known I could change a site’s address before now), and I used it to critique movies and video games from a Catholic perspective, creating a collaborative game review site, Gaming with Faith, in the process. Then I decided to revamp all of the reviews here with a new style. Then I decided to move all of those reviews to the now-archived Catholic Wannabe Critic and use this site to talk about my Youtube channels (absurdlyawesome, T. Martin).
Could I write reviews well? I think so. Did I enjoy writing? Yes. But it was a hobby that felt increasingly empty when my thoughts on a game I spent 10-20 hours of my life on got met with crickets chirping sans Josh W. or Catholic Skywalker, especially when I’m disappointed by most games themselves. I even advertised directly to my narrow audience of Catholic gamers via forums and Facebook groups and still little-to-no feedback, even from my friends and family. I feel like I wasted most of the last couple of years doing something I wasn’t meant to do.
Where do I know I want to be? In the film industry. I want to be a writer and director; I’ve been practicing that since I was a kid, most recently through absurdlyawesome. But these recent years, I’ve spent more time critiquing art, not making art, and gotten little reward for it. Then again, I think a lot of it had to do with anxiety issues; watching, playing, and writing in between schooling kept my mind occupied with something other than the real world.
Essentially, I’d been trapped between two online personas: one that makes funny stop-motion videos based on a secular topic—Transformers—and another that tries to critique and appraise secular entertainment from a religious viewpoint. Honestly, it’s pretty scary trying to find middle ground between two vastly different audiences, especially since I’m making my biggest project yet mostly for my Youtube fans who could potentially be alienated by my beliefs. I’d rather just cater to the audience who wouldn’t be alienated.
And yet, being afraid to alienate those whose philosophies disagree with mine shows how much I still have to grow in my faith, and God is who I put first. As I come from a religious perspective, I don’t expect everyone to agree with my views, but I do want to explain why I view things how I view them through this blog. While I won’t write formal reviews here, I will reflect on movies, games, and broader topics in these arts, and even my own art.
My intent is not, however, to make explicitly Christian “art” since putting the message over the artistry could result in jaded garbage like God’s Not Dead. The greatest Christian art is the type that you wouldn’t realize is Christian, such as Lord of the Rings. Of course, I’m no Tolkien, nor do I think I’ll ever be; heck, the types of movies I’m currently best at making are silly comedy videos. But even a comedy can be rooted in much-needed truth, even if the audience cares for little more than the parts that make them laugh.